Beauty amidst Chaos

It may sound strange, but what I always liked to see was when things went off of the rails a bit, as opposed to being so tightly pre-established (either previously planned as in a kata or as a result of cultural pre-conditioning). I liked it because especially during those times sensei would really come “alive” and “do his thing,” bringing things back into control again. This was especially great to see when he had a ken in his hands.

It was then that, to my mind, one could really begin to see the depth of his real experience and ability. He was free to do what needed to be done at the moment. And where many people in his role would simply break down, blame their partners, fall apart technically, or jump beyond the bounds inherent in a demonstration or class environment and harm others in the process of trying to save face, Shirata Sensei would seamlessly do what was needed and appropriate, even if there were multiple people involved, and even if they didn’t know what to do, how to respond, or even know what was going on.

Due to where we were (Japan) and when I had the opportunity to see and train with Shirata Sensei (mid ’80s to early ’90s), this happened very rarely. But when it did, it was a beautiful thing to behold and became a longterm goal for me to aim at. Of course there is a price to be paid to gain that ability. It isn’t something one gains solely in dojo practice. One must embrace chaos and the dangers that come with real chaos. One must also embrace the possibility of failure and use those experiences to further one’s knowledge, perceptions and approach to training. This requires humility, which is why I think sensei was such a humble person. There is also the real risk of, in the panic of the moment, falling back on one’s innate habits. For most of humanity that would be some form of fight or flight. It is due to this being such a common response must basic combat training focuses on the fight response. This makes sense, it is already present and can be built upon.

Of course, both flight or fight are antithetical to both the performance, and development, of Aiki and therefore defeats the purpose of willingly placing one’s self into that position in the first place. So, one must figure out how to get at which ones innate response is about to manifest, but not so far that one falls into the trap of reinforcing one’s “normal” response. Of course, there are limitations and additional dangers to this too. There are moral, legal and psychological boundaries that could be crossed in the process of this training, and are difficult or impossible to recover from. Certainly, Shirata Sensei had experiences that, while perhaps beneficial as a means of learning to operate under conditions of extreme stress, he would have very much liked to have avoided altogether.

I could see sensei trying to walk the same tight rope that I saw other combat veterans I knew walk. That is, he knew from first hand experience that being in mortal peril is best avoided for all parties. Losers potentially lose everything. Winners often lose as much, or more, than they “win.” Yet he also knew that when mortal peril is unavoidable, it isn’t a game, something to be pantomimed, or romanticized. Therefore he took the idea of studying Aikido as a means of pursuing peace very seriously while also taking the martial aspects of his practice equally seriously.

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