This is not actually me posing for this picture. This is my body double. I chose this picture because my body double is far cuter than I will ever be!
Today is my birthday. Often a birthday is a celebration and expression of appreciation for a person born on a particular day. On my birthday I often think appreciatively of all of those that helped to create the “me” of today. My mother and father are often who I think of first because they were the immediate cause of there being a “me” to celebrate. Of course, life didn’t start with them, so immediately I begin to reflect back on all of those lives that led to the creation of my mother, father, and eventually “me.” The roots of that “tree” quickly grows deep and spreads across the globe. It is both amazing and mentally un-graspable. At that point I often begin to consider all of the circumstances, causes, and individuals that influenced “me” becoming the “me” of today. Immediately after my birth there was, for me, a small explosion of influences. This too can quickly become un-graspable. So, I tend to focus on individuals, and as I do so, it becomes obvious that the number of individuals that influenced my life has increased with each passing year. This thought exercise is both humbling and up-lifting. It is humbling in that it is very clear that most of the “me” being celebrated was a gift from those that preceded, and/or supported and influenced “me.” And, since I value my life, I feel deeply grateful.
Of course, every moment is our “birthday” since each one of us is not a static being, but rather is becoming a “me” continuously under the causes, influences and supports that surround us.
Ok, so what does this have to do with Aiki?
The reflection above holds true for all great teachers and all great arts. No singular teacher became “great” via self-production. To quote The Sound of Music, “Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could.” There were always necessary precedent causes and conditions, usually many, that gave rise to the “great” teachers and “great” arts that we think of today. None of these were, or are, self-produced and self-sustaining, or exist as static entities.
This leads to another consideration. The vital importance of all of the “unknown” and/or “un-recognized” progenitors and supporters that gave rise to the “great” teachers and “great” arts. Without the “unknown and unrecognized” progenitors and supporters none of these would have come to be.
So, what?
In an immediate sense, I think that that is important for all teachers and practitioners to keep in mind. I am ashamed to say that I have, at times, wished that a teacher would spend less time on those students I deemed less [ ] (just fill in the blank: serious, skilled, dedicated, etc.). I regret to admit that as a teacher I have, at times, not appreciated some students as much as as I should have because I deemed them not [ ] (just fill in the blank: serious, skilled, dedicated, etc.) What I failed to remember at those times is:
Had it not been for every individual that enabled the continuance of what I was practicing, learning, and/or teaching, there wouldn’t be the opportunity to practice, learn and/or teach it at all!
We notice the rocks in the road we bump over and slow us down. We notice the spectacular rocks that rise far above the rest along our way. But it is the innumerable little rocks that we pass over and hardly notice that constitute the Way that enables our journey. Without them, there is no Way. It is important that both teachers and students remember and appreciate this.
The greatest “secret teaching” I learned from Shirata sensei was humility! True humility is a wonderful secret weapon. First, if one is not humble, one cannot learn. In order to learn, one must first recognize and acknowledge that there is something to learn. This implies that one does not know everything. Here is where many of us get caught. Acknowledging that we don’t know something can be perceived as a weakness. And a weakness is a threat. Our ego’s don’t like to be threatened. So, despite common sense, there are times we find “ourselves” trying to give the impression that we DO know it all. When we dod this we don’t learn, which leads to greater insecurity, and the cycle begins again. This is a hurdle we all must pass (again and again for most of us) before we can effectively learn.
As one progresses, one obviously “knows” more and more. That, of course, is the goal, but it is not uncommon for one to find themselves in a position where one becomes “the one who knows.” This is a potentially dangerous situation, because if one buys the idea that one “should” know everything, one will necessarily need to hide the fact that one “doesn’t” know everything. This leads to the deception of both those willingly deceived, and very likely to self-deception as well. Being surrounded by self-deceived individuals, and/or being self-deceived quickly decreases the likelihood of further learning.
If one wishes to continuously learn, one can be “on one’s guard” to remain humble. That is, one can try one’s best to accurately assess one’s strengths and shortcomings. In a martial setting it is imperative that one have an accurate and realistic assessment of one’s vulnerabilities. One powerful means by which to do this is to place one’s self into potentially humbling situations. If one is a grappler, try pugilism. If one is a pugilist, try grappling. If one’s art has no competition, try an art that does. Or simply put one’s self in a situation where one is required to learn something new from another. As Yamamoto sensei famously said, “You always suck doing the other guy’s stuff!” If one wishes to improve, fist one must find what one sucks at!
But wait. THAT’S NOT ALL!!!
True humility, (i.e. not proud or arrogant; modest, or courteous and respectful) often leads one to have feelings of gratitude (warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful)
So that is the other “secret teaching” I learned. Engender gratitude within one’s self.
Why?
Well, to begin with, thoughts associated with being “warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received” usually lead to the emotion of happiness. In other words, if one wishes for more happiness, all one has to do is engender thoughts of warm or deep appreciation. This also leads to a state of being “open and receptive.” An open and receptive state is optimal for learning.
Humility and Gratitude tend to be self-perpetuating. Humility often leads to Gratitude. Gratitude often leads to humility.
Our “me”ness is composed of our thoughts, words and actions. As a gift to “you,” from “me” on this birthday, please allow yourself a moment to align your thoughts, words, and actions with your appreciation for all of “those” that came before “you” and are helping now to make “you” what “you” are today. You might be surprised to find yourself feeling humbled by the abundance already present in your life and filled with a warmth and deep appreciation that leads to greater happiness for both “you” and those around “you.”
I hope so. Happy Birthday!!!
Allen’s Birthday Haiku
Aiki Shugyosha’s Lament
Again, I struggle
Resisting non-resistance
No Way of Aiki
Master of Self-Defense
Self-Defense is not
Victory over one’s “Self”
True Victory is
Allen’s Birthday Limerick
Blogger’s Lament
There once was a man from North West
Who wouldn’t give Aiki a rest
He said, “But it’s True.”
And, “You’ll feel it too.”
“Through hands-on is how one learns best!”
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